Just Another Day in the Neighborhood

I should have stayed home today. Seriously. It all started when I decided to go on a walk with the dog that I watch. We left the house to go on our regular walk. Depending on the route we take, it's about a 4-5 mile walk. Today I had a little more time so we were going to go the longer route. First, we forgot to get a baggie for his #2. Once we made sure to grab one from the house, we were ready for the trek. At this point the cat decided he was going to join us on our walk. He tends to do this but usually only when we circle the block. This time he began to follow us to the busy intersections. Knowing it would be dangerous for him, I began trying to dissuade him. After many failed attempts, he finally turned around and headed back towards the house. The dog and I were finally on our way. I decided to take a slightly different route in order to add to our mileage, which it did because it took us in a weirdly shaped circle that brought us back to the starting point. We then resumed our normal route. Now, the dog had done his business. I knew we were about to approach a park that had trash cans for these types of situations. In the park in order to reach the trash can, you had to step on dirt. Due to the recent rain and snow, the ground was muddy and therefore wet and slippery. The dog was excited to see..."Squirrel!"* He pulled on the leash, which pulled me. My feet began to slip out from under me. I was going down. I had a decision to make. Fall down on my buttocks, or try to keep from going down on it. I first used my hands. When I realized I was still going down, I decided to sacrifice my knee instead. I made the landing, but I'd give the performance a 6 out of 10. No more. I had a predicament. Do I go home or continue my walk while I'm caked in mud? I decided to continue to my walk. Soon after, I found some snow and decided to clean my hands with it. As I reached down to pick up the snow, the dog walked over to me and decided to use this moment to go to the bathroom (#1) on the snow I was picking up. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. That means the dog peed on my hands. I wasn't angry. The situation was too hilarious not to laugh, but it was time to head home. Once I washed the dirt and pee off my hands, I found out that I had cut my hand in two places when I fell. The other issue is that the stain from the mud won't come out of my favorite pants. Anyone know how to get a mud stain out of Rayon? I tried detergent and baking soda with salt. I still have a faint orange tint to my white and black pants.
Until my next crazy incident,
Peace out.

"Squirrel!" - Doug the dog from the movie Up